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ROVF – Snakes, Sex, Silly Cats, SFX, More Sex and Sozzled Swedes

// August 28th, 2009 // No Comments » // Personal

A bumper family value pack of ROVF for you all this week – think of it as buy one get one free in the sense that you get one free … and get another one free.

Let’s get cracking shall we? And let me say “I have HAD IT with these mother f####n snakes on this mother f####n … cash machine” (editor’s note: this may actually have made more sense as a film than Samuel O’s little in flight romp). Please note the reporter’s desperate attempts to make the story more interesting by changing the pitch of his voice at random… like this story needed making more interesting.

For the first batch of Sex in today’s massive melange of movie moments, we have a classic scenario of a guy, a girl and a half fulfilled wish – what? It’s not like it’s actually her birthday.

At risk of this slot turning into Animals do the Funniest things (which by the way is a show scripted by people, so clearly deprived of humour that a dramatic interpretation of War and Peace through the medium of expressive dance would be classified as “funny”) I have to proffer the following:

How do you like your pussy? If you answered dumb and slightly concussed then you’ll love this and may be interested in the Lower Winklestock Amateur Dramatic Society’s rendition of War and Peace as interpreted through the medium of expressive dance.

For those of you who are still with me – something a little more serious. For the past 100 years we’ve been making movies and for the past 2 years we’ve been sticking them on the Internet. Our next piece is a tribute to those hard working men and women of the Lower Winklestock Amateur Dra… sorry … to the hard working men and women who have taken suspension of disbelief to extremes and provided us with a century of almost believable escapism.

Back to the sex now (I bet you’ve been waiting for this one) and proof that women are a lot like Wireless Networks – some are easier to get onto than others

To wrap up, the final video is 30 odd minutes of an odd swede operating under the most thinly veiled excuse for a constant piss up I’ve ever seen … that said it may prove interesting and should distract you long enough to not notice I’ve slipped quietly out the back before any of you ask for your money back.

TTFN

ROVF – Twitter, Tiny Cars, Haxors, Hog Riding and a couple of gems

// August 21st, 2009 // No Comments » // Personal

And we’re back, back for another weeks worth of funky video highlight which no-one is actually watching because they all gave up on this blog months ago and who can blame them it’s not like I’ve kept on top of posting more than one item a year for the last 6 months and to be honest I’m amazed that people even check in at all although it seems my Amiga post is the most popular thing on the damn site and perhaps I should just focus my efforts on obscure emulation technolgies rather than going to the effort of compiling this weekly list of video highlights …

First up! We have a JAPANESE PIG RODEO. There really isn’t anything at all I can add to explain that any further is there?

Are you on Twitter? If so this break.com re-imagining of BeetleJuice might raise a smile. If not it’s just going to confuse the hell out of you so feel free to move on to…

…big men in small cars in the snow … I know – I’m just too good to you all

In an unlikely moment of sobriety (semantically speaking of course) I found the following vid on hacking quite entertaining, if only because it includes clips of my fave 1337 movies

Almost done for the week – penultimately I’ve seen a couple of vids that have taken a literal interpretation of music videos and re-worked the lyrics to the tune to match the words to the oddities of the video. This version of Turn Around by Bonnie Tyler is not necessarily the best vocally but some of it is simply wet yourself funny!

And finally, a classic giggle factory from the Fast Show – Unlucky Alf on a windy day (it’s only on here because it came up in the office on Monday and I’d forgotten just how darned funny he can be)

That’s all from me for this week but see you again in 168 hours for more!

ROVF – Car Washing, Crap Singing, and 2 Lucky Escapes

// August 14th, 2009 // No Comments » // Personal

Welcome back to this collection of (my) highlights of the weeks online video silliness. Rude Tube? Ain’t got nuttin on me!

We kick off with Earth shattering proof that … Britney Spears cannot sing! I mean seriously, who would have guessed that she was humming tunelessly along to a backing track for all these years? I feel betrayed I tell you, betrayed!

Moving swiftly on, my apologies to anyone who actually watched the previous vid all the way through – I should really have added a health warning. Anyway, shooting off in a manner so tangentially it could be described as obtuse (what? to early for Geometary puns?) we have a perfect demonstration of why we don’t use industrial dumper diggers to wash our cars. USE A BUCKET LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!

Onto our 2 lucky guys, the first has a (relatively) lucky escape from a moving train meets van combo (the commentary is rather amusing in a base, colonial fashion, mwaha) and the second narrowly avoids sticking in a very serious relationship with a complete fruitloop (note to self, if leaving the country ensure either a) phone is on or b) cuckoo crazy girlfriend is dumped before leaving)

And just to wrap things up – a very funny demonstration of what it’s like to drive on a selection of drugs – sure its in German and in places is a bit icky but it’s funny!!!

That’s it for this week. I’ll see you next Friday for a further fantasia of fun filled filmic fragments!