Archive for September, 2003

Blast from the past

// September 30th, 2003 // No Comments » // Personal

I finally got round to dusting off my old homepage and have decided to upload it for the sake of posterity. The site was built in 1996 so go easy on it ok – www.xset.co.uk/archive/

Reasons to trade your boyfriend …

// September 29th, 2003 // No Comments » // Personal

First off, let me say that I am very pleased to see Hotmail really understands its customer demographic and provided me with a link to this page.

Secondly, I would like to review the points made in this truly helpful article and see how they apply to the real world.

1. LACK OF TRUST
He claims he’ll never, ever cheat on you, but he cheated on his ex in order to be with you.

thats fair enough i guess, although to be fair to the guy, you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. I mean is this really enough of a reason to ditch the poor bastard? He gave up a perfectly good GF to be with you so surely has earnt your trust?

2. ARE YOU GOOD ENOUGH?
He’s always comparing you to his ex. And not in a good way either.

oh for god’s sake, get over yourself! if he’s making comparisons to his ex then it probably means she was prettier / cleverer / more fun than you. Stop moaning and get cracking on a little self improvement

3. YOU’RE NEGLECTED
He isn’t demonstrative in public and he doesn’t invite you to work functions where a date is required.

In other words, you embaress him and he doesn’t want to be seen with you (possibly because your arse is the size of Patagonia or something!)

4. THE EX FACTOR
He continues to speak to his old girlfriend protesting that they’re “only friends” now.

hmmm, controlling much? or maybe you’re applying your own paranoid standards. It is perfectly possible for ex’s to remain friends (very good friends normally). It doesn’t mean he’s bangin her in a bus shelter every wed night does it?

5. LACK OF COMMITMENT
He says he’ll introduce you to his friends when he’s sure about your relationship even though you’ve been going out for more than six months!

Stil finds you embaressing … either that or he told his mates you were a 6 foot blonde super model rather than a four foot, ginge minge!

6. SUSPICIOUS MINDS
He spends more time online than with you insisting that he’s “doing research”. But he can never explain what he’s researching…

i’m pleased to say he’s probably reading shite on the net … a bit like you are now! either that or he’s looking at porn… try posting a few photos to some of the more prolific sites – that’ll get the fuckers’ attention!

7. INFATUATION
He’s developed ‘mention-itis’ – but it’s a woman’s name that he’s dropping every nanosecond.

You’re boring … plain and simple, if he’s able to talk about nothing else then its cos you haven’t given him anything to talk about.

8. TIME-WASTER
He breaks up with you when his ex is single ‘ then wants to make up when his ex is involved.

Odds are good he’s bangin her in the bus shelter every wed night! Face it love, she’s just better in the sack (shelter) than you are!

9. ONE OF THE LADS
He often goes out with his friends, but every time you suggest a night out, there’s something on telly that he doesn’t want to miss.

show some backbone people, stick the remote down your bra strap and he’ll follow you anywhere…

10. EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE
He loves you when you leave him but tells you that he needs more time to himself when you’re together.

now what does this tell you about yourself … you are boring/ irratating/ smelly or any of a host of reasons that mean he actually doesn’t want to spend time with you … odds are good nobody does so you may as well chuck yourself under a bus and get it over with!

OK …

// September 27th, 2003 // No Comments » // Personal

I’ve just remembered two things …

1) leaves are the enemies of stealth and must be killed!

2) somebody’s left a watering can and a wheel barrow where my coffee cup used to go …

Marcus – makes u think … dunnit !!! remember, pegusus has a massive box!!!

Wow, people have actually signed my guest book!!!

// September 25th, 2003 // No Comments » // Tech

Ok, i know this is a bit sad, linking to pages on your own site but I’ve actually had some people sign my guestbook! So I’d like to say hi to Jally in china whose xlnt site can be found on the links page and to Huyhoa from Vietnam … guys (or girls) I have no idea how you found the site but thanks for dropping by!

Sorry, sorry, sorry sorry sorry

// September 25th, 2003 // No Comments » // Tech

crap, sorry to Markiss for the wholly inacurate frame set comment (see below) which is nothing to do with his new design but is imposed by his web host … sorry dude :(

And in other news …

// September 25th, 2003 // No Comments » // Tech

Markiss has updated his homepage – www.markiss.co.uk. Looks good there buddy but i’m a little disapointed that you felt it necessary to use a frameset … :( Mr Neilsen would be very cross.

These guys are fucking bastards

// September 24th, 2003 // No Comments » // Personal

I booked my bike test in May … ok … and there was a waiting list until the end of September (thats the first fucking thing wrong with the DVS in jersey … the obviously aren’t working hard enough).

The test was meant to be today and there was a massive list of the documents I was meant to bring with me. I get there at 8:30 sharp and presented my documents to the guy behind the desk who was a bit snitty about it.

He then enquires “have you not brought your insurance certificate?”

to which i reply “well, its attached to the bike”,

“not that one”, he says, “the certificate of insurance”,

and i’m like, “yeah … its on the back of the bike”.

It turns out that the insurance statement (kinda like a tax disk but its not round) is not good enough for the fucking DVS … no they want the Certificate which the insurers sent through with the disk. My statement is good enough for the police, good enough for traffic wardens and good enough for my CBT but obviously not fucking good enough for the DVS – oh no, they need the proper certificate.

The beauty of this is that, nowhere on the recipt for my test which details which documents I need to bring, does it make the distinction between the certificate and the statement … NOWHERE!!!

So the guy says “well son (son!!! – fuck you asshole if I was related to you I’d kill myself just to rid the genepool of your DNA) you’ll have to re-book and remember it next time” and then (this is the bit that really gets to me) he looks over to the instructer and says “Well Mike, looks like we’ll have time for that cuppa after all”…

What the fuck is wrong with these people? They made no effort to assist me, or to propose a solution to the problem. So far as they were concerned I could piss off and come back in Feb (the date of the next available test) so they could have a cup of tea … FUCKING BASTARDS I PAY FOR YOUR BLOODY TEA BAGS WITH MY FUCKING TAX MONEY … I HAVE NOW GIVEN THE DVS OVER ‘250.00 OF MY MONEY AND FOR WHAT? So some pissy, tea addicted moron can enjoy his little power trip? Well lets see who’s laughing when I fire bomb your house you fucker.

Evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil bad men … argh!!!

Surely not … pickled babies?

// September 24th, 2003 // No Comments » // Personal

Thanks to the BBC for bringing this to my attention … aparently, people in poland have a pretty sick approach to child care.

OK, so it’s not that bad

// September 24th, 2003 // No Comments » // Personal

right, now that i’ve calmed down a bit i would like to apologise to anybody who thought i actually would firebomb this guys house … i’d like it to be noted that I abhor violence of any type and my misguided statement was made whilst i was very cross … now that i have calmed down i will obviously not be blowing up his house … just his car!